Playing around
with new options and an updated space to share more than just long posts. I
think you’ll be able to find me here for a while, wanderingbly.com
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Sunday, August 2, 2015
It's more than just a Costco
I can’t
believe how long it has been since I have posted… Things here are plugging
along. We are busy with all 3 kids in different schools, on different
schedules, and each have their own activities. Life here is really similar to
what we would be doing in Seattle, but not quite the same. At times I have
thought about posting but while I like to give general updates on the kids I
really never thought of this space as being a platform for the minutia of our
lives but instead somewhere to share our adventures. As usual there are
conversations happening and networking being done which may result in some
changes for us, but nothing is for sure yet so it’s too early to start making
announcements. One thing these conversations have done is forced me to stop and
think about living somewhere really different. We have been so lucky to get the
chance to live in the UK and now Australia. We have gotten the chance to
experience different places and different lifestyles all while being in very
safe locations. Both are English speaking, although there is still plenty of
misunderstanding, both are obviously western and the traditions, foods, etc.
are very similar to the US. This time we may be taking on a slightly bigger
adventure and as we have agonized over locations and lifestyles it has forced me
to consider what do we need to be happy somewhere? Turns out the answer to that
question just might be Costco.
Everyone I
know in Reading and Sydney just rolled their eyes and everyone in Seattle
nodded in agreement.
A tour of Sydney wouldn't be complete without taking Grandma and Papa to our local Costco. We even got a little lunch. |
So I love Costco,
which is no secret. I think it is a great balance of value and quality, good
customer service, and brands I trust. Plus who can beat a $1.50 hot dog and
drink? But really that is not the real reason I love Costco so much. I have now
been to Costco in 3 countries and I can tell you the warehouse is the same
whether you go to the Woodinville location or Reading. The layout is all
basically the same, there are some minor differences. In England the candy
section is absurdly big and here in Sydney the seafood selection is extensive.
As you walk through the brands are all pretty much the same and of course you
have the Kirkland Signature options in almost any product. It is the only thing
that has been consistent no matter where we live. Walking in those doors is the
only place that I am instantly familiar with regardless of how long I have
lived in the area. I don’t have to read every package to understand what I’m
buying or try out multiple different brands until I find the one I like. It is
the easiest part of what is at times a really overwhelming process of getting settled
in a new place. It also provides little pieces of home even after we have been
here for a while, being able to buy the salsa we like or the warm Carter’s PJs
for the kids is really nice. When we get to a new city it is our first stop
because we need everything from groceries to bath mats. Once we have done our
Costco stock up I can start venturing out to the local stores to figure out
where to do our regular shopping, what a good price on milk is, and which
chemist is the best. All of that takes time, effort, and usually involves quite
a few wrong purchases before I get it right.
They have learned that it is the one place mom is will to buy things like absurdly big ice cream cones. |
When we
started seriously thinking about another move that would put us in a non-English
speaking city my initial thought was that if the school is a fit and our home
is comfortable then I can manage the rest. For the kids it is really about them
being happy in their school. The benefit of going to an international school is
they would be going to school with kids who have the same experiences they do,
of having lived different places. We would no longer be the one family with a
different accent and no intention of settling down for the long term. We would be
part of a larger community of expats who do move and the schools are set up to
provide support for families like us. On the home side if we can fit our space
I can make it a home. I find that I have become so dedicated to our little
family routines. Every Friday night is pizza and a movie night, all 5 of us sit
down together and watch a movie while eating our pizza. This seems like a silly
little thing that doesn’t matter all that much. But if I can keep our pizza and
a movie night no matter where we are it provides that consistency and stability.
Those are the things that make different places home not just where we live.
For Jamie the transition tends to be a bit faster because he is going to a Microsoft
office no matter where we are so for better or worse his experience is really
similar regardless of location. For me it is Costco. It really isn’t Costco but
it is my job to figure out how we actually live in a new city. Having one place
that looks and feels the same really helps.
That being
said Seoul has multiple Costcos and Munich has none… so it isn’t our only
criteria for moving.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
The Times They Are A-changin'
I turned
around the other day and realized that things have changed around here. We are
in our 2nd month of school and as I watch the kids each settle into their
new school year, this year in particular feels like the beginning of a new
phase. It’s not hard to figure out why this year feels like a bigger change
than others. Patrick started Sr High School and now goes off in his senior
uniform. The realization that after this there are only 2 more school years
until he is off to university is a very hard thing to wrap my head around. I’m
so excited for him but at the same time can’t imagine a day when he isn’t here
with us all the time. Kellen started Kindergarten and has settled in so
quickly. He is so pleased with himself to have homework like his big brother,
he beams when he makes progress on his reading, and he now has a little group of
boys he has fallen in with. Then there is little miss Ella, she started
preschool two full days and week and as the preschool teacher says “she has
blossomed”, in other words her personality and desire to be the centre of
attention has exploded over the last 2 months. But it isn’t just the kids this
time, I feel like I have changed and have entered into a new phase too. I’ve
started doing some part time consulting work and it feels amazing!
I know our
new phase isn’t very dramatic, we are going from babies and toddlers to young
kids, but it is a big change. I’ve realized that I haven’t bought diapers or
pull ups in a long time. I no longer feel the need to carry an overflowing bag
everywhere I go, if I have wipes on me it’s a bonus not a necessity. Getting in
the car everyone is using actual seatbelts no more 5 point harnesses which is a
small victory in my book. It is also small things I don’t always recognize in
the moment but then in retrospect realize how nice it is to have. I can now say
everyone put on their shoes and everyone can go find appropriate shoes and put
them on. All 3 kids can work together to pick up the playroom and it actually
ends up clean. In so many little ways things are getting easier. The flip side
is I’ve noticed the battles I do have seem to be getting more difficult. As
Ella’s personality ‘blossoms’, as they like to say at preschool, her wilfulness
just increases. The two of us go to battle all day every day and I’m scared to
think that I have about 20 more years of this ahead of me. Today the battle was
over fruit snacks and ended when she threw her glass of milk onto the floor and
I marched her to her room… Kellen seems to be doing so well in school but
when he does waiver my heart breaks for him. He has to do news every Thursday
when he gets up in front of the class and tells them his news. Standing in
front of the class and speaking is so far the hardest thing for him about school
and watching how nervous he gets is terrible, but then seeing him so proud
after school is comforting. The thought of Patrick driving now that he is 16 is
so scary. I think back to when I was 16 and allowed to drive to and from
school, to my activities, out with friends, and I think my parents must have
been sick worried all the time. I want him to do these things but don’t want
him to do them either. We are definitely entering a new phase of worries and
frustrations.
With Kellen
in school 5 day and Ella in 2 days I figured I would have all this free time I
didn’t have before. I’ve learned that school 5 days means your time is taken up
with drop offs and pickups and then trying to fit everything else into the
space in between. We also have to move all of our regular activities to after
school time so we are busier than ever. I also wanted to do something for
myself with the 2 days I have kid free. Through networking with some of the
moms I have met I was connected with a company that provides exit, stay, and on
boarding interviews to their clients. They hire contractors as independent consultants
so I had to get a business number and was hired on a consultant to do interviewing
for them. So far it is great, I am able to schedule my work around my own availability
and once I’ve filled my available time I don’t have to take on any more work,
or if I have more time available for whatever reason I can
schedule more interviews and bill more hours. I’ve enjoyed it so far, I’ve been
assigned multiple law firms, a pharmaceutical company and two large mining
companies. I am talking to different people who do different types of work and
it has been really interesting. I’m enjoying having something to focus on outside
of the stay at home mom realm I’ve been in for almost 4 years now. It gives me
an outside focus and I will actually be earning some money. It’s already
burning a hole in my pocket, I have a list of really exciting things I want to
go out and indulge in. I think a trip to the new Williams-Sonoma that opened
near us is on the agenda. I started going through the interview process with
Apple for a recruiter position they are hiring here in Sydney and while there
is something really exciting about the chance to go back full time, work in the
city, and make a full salary. The thought of going form home full time to never
home was just too much. In the end the role wasn’t a good fit and it helped me
realize that I’m not ready to go back full time but working part time and
getting to work while still being home full time is perfect for me right now.
So we are
changing over here. Some things are getting easier and other things are getting
harder. The kids are gaining their independence little by little and I am too.
Sunday, February 1, 2015
A Year and a Half In - Reflections on Living in Australia
Note - this is Jamie writing, not Nicole. She has not in any way endorsed the content below.
Today marks eighteen months in Australia – we landed here as
a family on the 1st of August 2013 – jetlagged and squinting from
the unfamiliar sun that had eluded us for most of our lives prior to then in
Seattle and Reading. Funny to think it was only a year and a half ago – now the
kids’ entire lives are in the sun, the beach and the water. They have
integrated into their Aussie schools, made friends, picked up the local dialect
and play local sports. And Nicole and I have as well, maybe less dramatically,
but we have settled into a life here where we can always hear and see the
water. We have made friends and adjusted to local custom. We have over the last
couple of weeks met good friends for BBQs on the beach with the kids playing
down in the water as the sunset and had the whole work team and their families
up to our house for a post MYR celebratory BBQ. We have celebrated two
Christmases now in Sydney, in the hot of summer and with a surf before dinner.
We have made the flight with the kids back to Seattle to visit and had the
feeling that it was nice to see family but we really want to get home, back to
Sydney. I am not sure when this happened, this sense of home, but it had to be
sometime over the last eighteen months. A moment there when we no longer missed
the UK and Australia had become our home. I am reminded of Grandma Bly’s advice
- home is where your family is. Maybe it is as simple as this.
It is an awkward milestone – eighteen months; it lacks the evenness
of one year or two years or a decade. But it is an interesting milestone
nonetheless for me as it is the moment when we decided that our adventure in
England had about run its course and we started to consider our next step – reaching
out into the network, debating the whole move back to US or stay abroad, phone
interviews, etc… which led to a move at the two year mark. If we were again to
move on the two year mark, say this August, I would need to get the ball
rolling now – where do we want to live, what roles will be available there,
what makes the most sense on the work side and the family side, etc… It is this
debate that we have started to go through, this tiring and maybe futile
assessment of would we be better off doing this or that, what will be best in
the long term, for the kids, for work, for us. But aside from the debate on
stay or go, the eighteen month milestone has made me lean back and reflect on
our experience thus far which is what I wanted to share today.
People say that Australia is a hybrid of UK and US culture.
I believe Nicole already wrote about this so I will spare you my impression,
but it is at least at a basic level a reasonable assessment. What sticks out to
me the most about Australia is how similar it really is the US, or more
specifically, how not dissimilar it is. In England we really felt that we were
in another world – everything felt different from the US – the language was
undecipherable at times, most things felt much smaller than they should be
(cars, houses, fridges, etc…) and we were surrounded by an immeasurable wealth
of history and culture. We could run into London and see Big Ben, Trafalgar
Square, St. Peters, Tower Bride, etc… Or step into a museum and stand before
the Elgin marbles, Michelangelo statues, Van Gogh’s sunflowers. We could hop
into the car and explore any number of castle ruins before a cosy lunch and
pint of ale at a pub that dated back before the US was founded. And once we
tired of exploring the UK, Europe was at our doorstep. This is not to say that
the UK was perfect. We found living there hard in a lot of ways, and wet. I
love that we had the opportunity to do it, but I do not yearn to go back by any
means. But it felt different, distinctly different, an experience that we and the
kids would remember, justifying the distance from our families and friends in
the US.
Australia in contrast has appeal in a very different way.
The museums here in Sydney fall a bit short, as does the historical architecture
and to my knowledge there are no castle ruins or even real pubs to explore. Asia
is at the doorstep, although the journey is an eight hour or more flight to get
there. A long driveway if you will. Australia, or Sydney more specifically, is
however beautiful. Water is everywhere – from inlands protected bays and coves
to breaking waves on some of the world’s most beautiful beaches. The flora and
fauna is unworldly and in abundance – wallabies, kangaroos, koalas, lizards,
spiders along with beautiful eucalyptus or gum trees, banksia, creeping
jasmine, giant agave and the incredible frangipani. The weather is temperate
and mild and allows for shorts just about every day through the year. The sunsets are unbelievable every night. Pollution
is about as low as you will find in a developed country, crime is not something
that occupies the public imagination (neighbours leave houses unlocked) and people
are friendly. It is all unnerving at first, I found myself aching for a little
biting sarcasm or a cold rainy day at first. But you quickly succumb to the
pleasantness, drifting into life here in Australia.
It is this pleasantness that is at the heart of our debate
over staying or going. Pleasant is a funny word, synonymous with agreeable,
amiable, and likeable. Pleasant is good, but is it great? Is pleasant enough to
justify the financial cost, or the emotional burden of living so far from family?
Or is pleasant just what we need at this formative time in the kids’ lives?
While we may no longer be exploring new countries or rich
history, our life here is very nice. I work with a great team and enjoy what I
am doing. Patrick just started year 10 and is in all advanced placement
classes, is almost as excited about his studies as he is the upcoming beach
bonfire or surfing with his buddies, learning to drive and maybe even kissing a
girl (gasp). Kellen is starting ‘real school’, or kindergarten, on Monday and
cannot wait to tell us about his science studies which he is sure he will do on
day one. Ella had her first few days of preschool last week and is proud to be
the big girl who gets to stay after having brought and picked up Kellen every
day last year. Nicole has integrated well and made her group of friends as she
always does and is even considering going back to work here in Sydney. We live
on the northern beaches outside of the city, a long commute into the Sydney CBD
but a stones throw from an idyllic little village with a grocer, a butcher and
a baker. The house overlooks Bilgola beach to the back and Avalon beach to the
front, with view of the water from most rooms. The community is small but
great, with the same people at the ballet recital as at the nippers morning or
soccer or just in the grocery store. Not that everyone knows everyone, but it
is close. A place I feel good with Patrick running around town. Almost what I imagine
stepping back into time would be like, to the town my parents grew up in with
the exception of being on the east coast of Australia vs. the plains of
northern Minnesota. Small difference. The family is happy here, the lifestyle
is great, the environment perfect for raising a family.
But somehow something still pulls at me. Maybe it is
lingering wanderlust, a yearning to get out and explore the world, new
cultures, meet different people. It is this that set us out to begin with.
We are approaching an inflection point – if we moved this
August, Patrick would be entering his final two years of high school in the
northern hemisphere. I could not justify moving him later than this which leads
us to the conclusion that either we push on this winter (August) or we hold
tight and let Patrick graduate down here in three years. We either pack up and
start again, likely in mainland Europe somewhere, or really settle in – apply for
Australian residency, maybe buy nicer cars, think about getting a dog. The
shift from living somewhere where you anticipate being a couple of years vs.
somewhere you plan to be longer, maybe a lot longer, is subtle but real. Little
decisions around cell phones or where to live or gym membership are put into
new light. Vacation planning changes. Work and career conversations shift. College
research for Patrick takes a different light. We would need to get local
drivers licenses.
I am not sure where we will land with the decision – my heart
pulls me to move on while my mind tells me the best thing to do is to stay for
a while and enjoy life – see Patrick graduate, the kids build deeper
friendships and Nicole not thrust into a new place again to make friends from
scratch. Fortunately it is not a decision we need to make today, so until we
do, we will be enjoying the pleasant life and be swimming between the flags.
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