Ch ch ch changes

There are times when it feels like we’ve moved from one stage to the next so Kellen starting school last week has marked a new phase in our house. First of all he loves school. They call this year Foundation 1 (preschool) so he goes and gets to play with other kids for 3 hours each morning. The room is set up as stations and the kids get to move around freely to play in each area, they also have outside play time. He gets a little snack which requires them first sitting quietly on the rug before moving to the snack tables but overall it’s play time. Each Monday and Wednesday a couple new kids join the class so it won’t be until the end of October that the whole class has started. It’s a nice transition into learning the basics of going to school. They are all 3 so little things like using a school bathroom, getting into the routine of hanging up your coat, sitting nicely during snack, those are all big lessons.

So far the sand table is his favourite, there are dinosaurs buried in the sand so digging them out provides endless entertainment. He has started bringing his paintings home and can proudly make the signs for milk and please. Once a week they go to music in the big kid section of the school and Kellen was showing off his new songs on our walk home on Monday. Overall it has been great for him, he was ready to go and is excited each morning.

Almost a bigger change has been Ella over the last few weeks. She is not only cruising but she is incredibly independent. On Sunday we had friends over for dinner and the back door was open since it was a nice day, suddenly we look out and there is Ella in the backyard inside the toy car looking pleased with herself. Now that Kellen is in school each morning we are enjoying Ella and Mama one on one time. It feels like such a treat to have uninterrupted time with Ella and be able to give her all my attention.  She is now a toddler who acts silly to make her brothers laugh and gets incredibly impatient when she doesn’t get what she wants.

There was a point when Ella was about 6 months old that I felt so sad that Ella was my last baby. To not have the joy and excitement of a newborn again, the special bond that you have with an infant. I joked that I didn’t want any more kids just babies. I felt like every time Ella changed or moved on to a new stage I wished she would slow down, I wanted to enjoy every moment. Now as she becomes a toddler I’m enjoying not having a tiny baby anymore. We were able to get rid of the swing and exersaucer; I don’t have to make baby food anymore, no more nursing any time of day or night. While I still need to carry diapers a large purse is now enough, my diaper bag days are over. 

As we settle into our new routine of sending both boys off to school in the morning. I’ll be daydreaming of the days when our house is changing table free.

Bonjour Paris!

This past weekend I got a unique chance to take a break from full time mommyhood and have a weekend all to myself. Jamie often travels to Paris for work and Patrick is actually going in October for this class’ fall trip. We briefly drove into Paris last fall when we went to Paris Disney but other than one evening I hadn’t been yet. Jamie and I were talking about what a shame it is to have such an amazing city so close but it really offers so much for adults and little for kids so we haven’t gone yet. Living out here we also see great deals to go visit cities but once you factor in 5 tickets instead of just 1 or 2 suddenly it’s a little too expensive for a weekend. So this last weekend I went to Paris on my own.

I flew out on Friday afternoon, eager to have some space and time to myself. I think I have only left Kellen overnight 3 times, once on our anniversary just after he turned 1, once for work, and then to stay in hospital when I had Ella. There may be one other night he spent the night at Grandma and Papa’s but I don’t think so. Up until now I had never left Ella overnight. I have been trying to wean her over the last few weeks but she has been resistant so this was also a good way to physically get some separation and finally wean her altogether. So as we drove to the airport I was feeling super anxious about leaving the babies, I know that Jamie is good with the kids and perfectly experienced and capable of taking care of them, but there must be a mothering hormone that kicks in when faced with the reality that we were going to be separated that made me extremely uneasy. The amazing thing is that once they dropped me off at Heathrow and I got through security I somehow relaxed in a way that I haven’t in 3 years. I kept feeling like I was forgetting something but no it really was just me. I got a coffee, sat quietly and read a little before the flight, it was amazing.

Once I arrived in Paris the fact that I really should learn French was painfully highlighted. I flew into Orly so I was able to take the train directly in to the city and my hotel was actually on the same train line so that was easy enough. I checked in, browsed my Paris book and decided to head towards Notre Dame for dinner. It was on my train line so it should be easy to hop on the train and be there within 15 minutes or so, it was already around 8:00 so I was hungry. I walked down to the Metro stop and confirmed with information where I needed to go, somehow I got this totally wrong because once I was on the train I realized that not only was I headed the wrong direction but I was essentially headed directly into the ghetto. I found myself at some random station, it was dark, it was full of young men in their 20’s that were a tougher crowd then I would chose to be thrown in with on my own with ipad and camera in my bag… So at this point I’m genuinely scared, this rarely happens, and I’m trying to figure out the trains. At one point I thought I needed to wait another hour, I was so frustrated, and finally I found another train and was on my way. I finally got to Notre Dame around 9:30, starving and not exactly in love with Paris yet.  I walked around the area taking in the brasseries and bars. It was packed with people, the food looked great and you can’t beat a view of Notre Dame lit up at night. I sat and had a long meal then chose to treat myself to a taxi ride directly back to the hotel.

One benefit to my mix up the night before was that Saturday morning I was much more aware of how the trains worked, how to read the screen, and what directly I wanted to be heading in. I decided to head as far west as I planned on going that day then spent the rest of the day heading east in a roundabout way. It’s amazing how much you can see without 3 kids in tow. I started at the Eiffel Tower and then walked toward the Champs-Élysées walking along the Seine and taking in the alleys and vendors as I made my way along. When I reached the end of the Champs-Élysées I started walking up toward the Arc de Triomphe. The view looking up the street was impressive but lining the street I reached an Abercrombie and Fitch with a line outside and looked across the street to see a Quicksilver store. At that point I turned around and jumped on the Metro to head to the Louvre, regardless of how dressed up it is I wasn’t interested in shopping at Abercrombie this weekend. The Louvre is massive there is so much to see. I got one of the audio guides and it was really nice because you could set it to give you general information on the areas you enter then select specific works of art you want more information on. As usual the sculptures were my favorite. I don’t know what it is about them that I find so amazing. I think it is the ability to make stone look light, and soft and pliable, the figures are beautiful and sad. I can spend all day going through the sculptures in detail. But of course you can’t go to the Louvre and not see the Mona Lisa. The difference in crowd size in the hall containing the Mona Lisa was amazing; it was also a bit concerning that throughout the museum there were pick pocket warning signs.

 

After about 2 ½ hours I was exhausted and looking forward to sitting for a while. I first took a little break in the gardens outside of the Louvre while I planned my next stop. I decided to head back towards Notre Dame to grab some lunch then tour the cathedral. After my quick brasserie stop, which confirmed my long held belief that anything is made better with a fried egg on top, I queued up to enter the cathedral. It was wonderful. It is an active church so there was service taking place in a small chapel towards the back, there were confessions taking place, the windows were striking and as with most cathedrals there were beautiful statues throughout. I think this was one of the highlights of the weekend for me. I enjoy cathedrals, for many of the same reasons I enjoy sculptures. They can be joyful but always feel somewhat sad because they are so sombre; I also find the signs of faith throughout to be beautiful and comforting.

At this point I was exhausted and decided to head back to the hotel. This is where being alone can be such a luxury, I was able to put my feet up and read the paper uninterrupted. It felt so indulgent and restful that by 7:00 I was ready to go again.

I decided to head to Montmartre for dinner. I saw the Moulin Rouge; at €175 for dinner and a show all I did was see it from the outside. It was crowded with people taking pictures and I’m sure it gets full but I didn’t see many going in. I went a few blocks up the hill and found a brasserie for dinner. An older French woman arrived just as I did and we had a long conversation, she spoke no English and I speak no French so we didn’t cover much but we gave it our best shot. She is from Paris and lives in Montmartre and seemed to know half the people who walked by. She left after having her drink but I enjoyed the company.  After a relaxed dinner and a brief walk around the neighbourhood I headed in for the night. It was my only full day in Paris and I felt like I had seen a lot. My legs ached and my feet were done for the day.

The next morning I actually got to sleep in uninterrupted which is an unheard of experience these days. Once I was up I felt ready to be home with the kids. One day away felt free and exciting and the long nights sleep were definitely welcome but I missed my crew. When Jamie said that Ella and Patrick weren’t feeling well I was even more ready to be home. My flight was early that afternoon so before heading out I went to the Left Bank where I walked around had a crepe from a sidewalk stand and enjoyed my last few hours in Paris.

 Getting off the flight I was so excited to see the kids, Jamie and Ella were waiting for me at arrivals. I hurried over expecting Ella to light up at the sight of me, instead she waved and kind of snuggled me as I held her but this was not the reaction I was looking for. Once we got home I hurried in to see Kellen and Patrick. Again they were both happy enough to see me but the enthusiasm level was low. So the lesson of the weekend was first, some time to recharge and check out by myself is much needed every few years (hopefully sooner next time), once the kids are old enough Jamie and I can go together. My second lesson was that I missed all of them way more then they missed me. So the next time I’m sick of someone hanging on me, interrupting me, hovering around, I should be thankful. Turns out they do better without me then I do without them.

Soap Box Moment

It has been about a month since my last post and a lot has happened. We had an unexpected trip back to Seattle. It was a surreal experience both because our reason for going was so terrible and at the same time being back was both comforting and unsettling. We were only home for four days, went to see women’s football at the Olympics and then we were off on our planned summer holiday. Ten days on vacation with Grandma and Papa were so nice. We had sun, swimming, too much food and great time for the babies to get to really be with them. They then came back to our house and we celebrated Kellen’s 3^rd birthday and Ella’s 1^st. The 3 week period was exciting and exhausting, I thought of countless posts I wanted to do but time seemed to slip away and now it’s a month later and I don’t know where to start.

First just a few quick words about our little Miss Ella; she just might be the sweetest and most adorable little girl ever. Somehow it seems everything is on fast forward and every day she is doing more, communicating more, pushing her brother back, everything. She is essentially a mini toddler at this point and shows no signs of slowing down. One of the funniest things about her is the way she communicates. I’ve always said that Ella yells, sometimes she isn’t crying she is literally yelling at you, she starting doing this pretty young. Well now she is the bossiest baby I have ever met. She has figured out that she can point to what she wants then grunt or make noise to tell you, if you are looking away or taking too long you better watch out. She gets progressively more forceful and angry when she doesn’t get what she wants immediately. It is so funny because she can sit at the table and point to the food, her cup, your food, if there is bread in the middle of the table she will point to it to ask for some. It is amazing how well she communicates and how quick she has everyone jumping to follow orders. On the 16^th her actual first birthday we sang happy birthday and she had her own cupcake on the tray of her high chair, she wasn’t totally sure what to do with it she may have been waiting for someone to cut it or give her bites. Grandma figured she’d help by breaking a little piece off and giving Ella a bite. Ella loved it and then pointed at Grandma and then the cupcake and yelled. It was very clear that she was saying, “You Grandma, put cake in my mouth now!”

Spending time in Seattle and having such good time with my parents of course it makes you think about going home. Jamie and I have talked about it with my parents and then between Jamie and me we try to touch base with each other every so often to just check in and make sure we are both feeling the same way. We are also hitting the one year mark, Jamie and Patrick arrived on September 1^st and the babies and I didn’t make it until early October. So we are settled now, for the most part we have figured out what works for us and what doesn’t. It is starting to feel like home. It was very odd to be leaving Seattle to go home. We like the UK, I don’t think either one of us wants to live here forever, but it is a good environment for our family. Being back, watching the news, reading the headlines online and even in The Guardian we aren’t sure that the US is a good environment for our family right now. This isn’t an elitist, oh in Europe things are perfect, attitude. Things are definitely not perfect here, just try doing something efficiently and you will go crazy, and my dishwasher had been broken for over 2 months now. But things do seem really broken in the US and the trends we see are alarming.

I love politics, I just listened to Ann Romney’s convention speech while I was cooking and I thought she did great, although I completely disagree with her and her husband. I love the debates, I feel passionately about my politics and I always considered myself liberal. Moving out of the US I’ve realized liberal in the US is far from liberal in Europe (I can’t speak for other parts of the world since I really don’t know). As Obama gets labelled a socialist for a healthcare plan that isn’t government sponsored, or even the fact that socialist is considered an insult, is so different then a continent that provides healthcare. Not only do we receive healthcare in the UK, we have travel cards so that we are covered anywhere in the EU. I will read an article about France thinking about returning to a 75% tax rate for the wealthiest and the next article explains that in the US the wealthiest often pay less than the poor. But the truth is although we believe in universal healthcare and would vote for it every time, we have been fortunate to have great benefits through our employer. If we were to move back to the States healthcare would not be barrier.

What I’ve found more alarming is what appears to be not only a hard break right in American politics but some determination to move backwards. You have a movement to reverse women’s rights but hey that’s ok because in cases of legitimate rape women can’t get pregnant. I’m not sure where to start on this, is it the fact that it suggests that there are types of rape that aren’t real? That it makes no sense as far as medical science? Or even better that being forced to carry a child conceived through rape is the same thing as having a child out of wedlock! In Ann Romney’s speech she says she has met with families who want another child but can’t have one because of the economy, they can’t afford it. Yet under changes proposed to healthcare employers won’t be required to provide coverage for contraceptives, so lucky for those families if they can’t afford birth control looks like they will be having plenty of kids!

I’m not a gun control expert; we have family members who enjoy hunting and own guns. I do know that guns are too easy to get in the United States. It is shocking that when tragic events like the Aurora shootings happen gun sales surge. I heard about the shootings on BBC radio as I was driving and the host asked the reporter if this tragic event would spark a new debate on gun control laws in the US, the reporter responded that no the US has a high tolerance for violent events of this kind. This is not something we should be proud of. Now living in a country were guns are not allowed the nightly news does not play through like a list of horrible events and deaths. In fact they are currently debating stricter control of knives, no joke.

I won’t even get started on the wilful disbelief of science as it relates to global warming and evolution. Or the fact that in the last election the fact that Obama went to Harvard was an insult? Right because being educated is the worst thing we would want in a President. The blatant discrimination that gay couples face without the right to marry; or the growing disparity between rich and poor.

So as Jamie and I talk about moving home, when we would want to move and what’s best for the kids the US doesn’t look great right now. We miss family and I’m sure work will bring us home sooner then we realize. When I think of my daughter I don’t want her growing up in an environment where our leaders are splitting hairs over rape or making decisions that will impact her ability to decide for herself if and when she will start a family. I don’t want any of our kids to be in a situation where medical costs or cost of insurance could impact their homeownership or what job opportunities they take/don’t take. We just aren't rushing to be back in that environment.

I’ll step down off the soap box now.