Turkish Delight

We just got back from a 10 day vacation in Turkey; it was a great experience to get to explore a different very different part of the world. I’m still not clear whether Turkey is officially considered the Middle East or Eastern Europe, Wikipedia calls it Eurasian and it boarders Iran, Iraq and Syria to the East but Greece and Bulgaria to the west. Having primarily travelled in Western Europe it was very different than anywhere we had taken the kids before. Just driving through Istanbul on the way to the hotel the city looks different, the architecture is different, and it is a primarily Muslim country so a large portion of the women had their heads covered while some also wore full burkas. We were very excited to be able to bring Patrick to a place that seems so different and show him how much the same it really was.

We spent the first 4 days in Istanbul going through the Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia, we ate at a few of the restaurants featured on No Reservations and spent time at the local parks. The Mosque was beautiful the tiles and colours were striking the space inside was so open, during religious holidays thousands of worshipers will pray at the Mosque. The Hagia Sophia is so interesting because you have both the Christian and Muslim in the same building. The food was delicious; we of course ate a ton of Shish Kebabs and flatbread along with cheeses, meats and seafood. The food was a little bit hard with Kellen but most of the time the shish came with rice and fries so that worked for him. He also liked dipping the bread in the tzatziki.

We then went down the coast to Altinkum. Altinkum is a small beach town that is obviously growing quickly. The area was an almost jarring mix of poor rural villages and new condo development communities that were obviously holiday properties. Driving from the airport to Altinkum was interesting to say the least, everything was in Turkish and we would pass farms, makeshift looking homes and ancient ruins all along the roadside. At first we weren’t sure why there seemed to be so much rubble and found out that at one time there had been Greek settlements that were then abandoned. We also passed beautiful orchards and that water was like a postcard, our view was of the Greek Islands. As we got closer to the condo we rented we turned a corner and found ourselves driving past the Temple of Apollo along with goats and chickens roaming freely along the road. Our condo was great, 2 levels with 3 bedrooms and a bigger kitchen then I have here at the house. It had a view of the water and was a short drive down to the beach. After the hustle of Istanbul the goal for our 5 days in Altinkum was to relax, let the kids run around and just spend down time together. The little restaurant in the complex was great and Kellen loved it because he could just run laps and duck in periodically for a bite or two while we took our time eating. One day we did drive out to Ephesus to experience the closest we’ll ever get to walking through an intact ancient Greek city.

Overall the trip had everything you could want from a vacation. It was culturally interesting, the food was delicious and we got to try new things and we had enough time to take naps and just spend time together. That being said 10 days is hard with really little kids especially when you are moving around locations. The kids are getting better and better at traveling, or we are getting better and traveling with kids. We are much more efficient packers then we were at first and they are now used to getting through airports and on the flights. Patrick is a pro at security and Kellen even understands staying with us and walking through the metal detector, luckily Ella is just strapped in the Ergo for now.  We make an effort to try and take sanity breaks for Kellen; whether that is time at a park or just downtime in the room it seems to help.

One thing that continues to amaze me is how different the kids are treated in other countries. After Italy we were amazed at how much the Italians love little kids, playing with them in restaurants, talking to them on the streets, it made the trip so much easier. In Turkey we found the same thing. Walking down the street people were so friendly with the kids, they were affectionate and playful. In restaurants Ella would make a peep and she was scooped up and given a tour of the restaurant. Kellen fell down at a park and another Mom immediately grabbed him and started comforting him until I got over there. Getting through the airports we were routed through the first class check in and security lines just because of the kids in Rome, Paris and Istanbul. My sceptical side would say well of course the restaurant owners were friendly, it supports their business, etc. but this was just people walking down the street or customers, men and women. Walking through the Grand Bazaar with the double stroller the amount of attention we got was over the top.  When you feel like your kids are not bothering the people around you and are actually welcomed with open arms it makes the whole experience so much better.

The day after we got home I was online and read this blog article, Should Airlines Charge Parents with Small Children More to Fly?. After having another great experience traveling with the kids this made me so mad. I can’t say it’s just an American thing because here in England the response to kids has been similar and the airline they are referring to is Malaysian but the attitude that kids are the greatest inconvenience drives me crazy. I get it, not everyone thinks my children are the most beautiful and gifted children ever born, that’s ok. I also make a point to try not to impose them on other people (unless we are Facebook friends) or assume that everyone find their squeals and wiggles as cute as I do. But if we never take kids anywhere how will they ever learn how to behave? While I’m sure when we visit home we’ll happily have a dinner out at Red Robin I don’t want our kids to think it is the only restaurant they are allowed to eat at, I’ve learned that the UK equivalent is Pizza Express which I hear is “family friendly”. When it comes to flying I will tell you that we put a lot of time and effort into making sure we have plenty of distractions for Kellen and Ella is allowed to eat as often as she wants as long as she is quiet on the flight. Ella has been on 11 flights in her young life and it wasn’t until this last trip that she had a meltdown on the plane. It was the last 10 minutes of our flight from Istanbul to Paris and she just lost it, she could not be consoled and didn’t want to eat she just continued to scream, it was horrible. Waiting to walk off the plane everyone’s eyes were on me as I was on the verge of a meltdown myself, half of the people looked sympathetic and half looked like they wanted to strangle us both. One tactful woman in the row behind us even covered her ears. The frustrating part is that on the other 10 flights Ella hardly made a sound, if you were on the flight you wouldn’t have known she was there, yet I’m sure most of the people on the plane wondered why would even try to travel with an infant.

Why do some cultures seem to celebrate kids, not just tolerate them, while others try to contain them to large chains and separate them from adults as much as possible? I’m not sure why but I know which culture I would prefer to live in.

Small Indulgences

A girlfriend from my old team at work just posted that she has decided to resign from Microsoft to stay home with her two young kids. We would walk for our morning coffee together and most days we discussed the challenges of working full time and having babies at home and how much we wished we could stay home with them. I never would have thought a year later we would both be home and now as I was sitting down to send her an email it made me think about what the biggest adjustments have been. My experience is obviously different given the move and all of the adjustments of living in a new country but some of the basics I’m sure would have been the same had we stayed in Duvall.

I think there is undoubtedly less daily stress staying home with the kids. Jamie was in an offsite back in Redmond last week and was telling me about hearing co-workers mention needing to leave by a set time to pick kids up from day care or the rush of dropping them off before work. I don’t envy the daily tension of home and work and it is a luxury that Jamie and I can now coordinate home and work so that neither feels neglected. That being said there are different stresses I didn’t anticipate. I do find myself overanalysing my parenting much more now than I did before, I no longer have the security of my daily chats with Patsy. Since she was with Kellen all day we could compare notes and I could draw on her years of experience on how to respond.

One of the biggest adjustments is obvious in retrospect but I honestly didn’t anticipate in advance. No long being in the work environment is a huge adjustment, but I don’t mean actually doing the work because staying home is hard work. But just being in an environment like the Microsoft offices where everything is geared for your convenience. The onsite shopping, salon, campus wide wifi and endless drinks everywhere you turn. The difference is you go from spending a large portion of your time in an environment that is catered to you and suddenly you are the one who is creating the environment catering to your kids and husband. At first this didn’t really bother me, we also went through a move and an adjustment to a new house, but over the last few months especially I’ve found myself doing small things that I would have considered indulgent but now are part of my routine.

In our family I am the more frugal one and hate to feel like I’ve wasted money and if I can just get a cheap top at Target I’m happy with that. Recently though I’ve started going to the “nicer” grocery store as my regular store. At first I just went to check it out but the shopping experience was so much nicer, the produce and selection were better and it was actually and enjoyable errand that I haven’t been able to stop myself from going back. Now that we are on one income we are a lot more thoughtful about if and when we eat out so we rarely do. That means that I am feeding a family of 5 everyday out of a kitchen half the size of my old one, this requires at least 2 grocery trips a week. Our fridge and cupboards just don’t hold more than 4 days’ worth of food at a time so I spend a lot of time at the grocery store. I’ve decided it’s worth it to spend a bit more and actually enjoy the experience.

My other indulgence has become flowers. This I’m sure sounds like a piece of advice from a 50’s edition of Good Housekeeping but when you spend most of your time at home I’ve realized it is worth it to make your home somewhere you want to be. I’ve started buying fresh flowers for the house each week. I never before would have actually done this, not only am I buying flowers but I don’t buy the ready bouquet I buy bunches from Costco then arrange them in a couple different vases. Again I know this probably sounds silly but this is a really small house and having bright fresh flowers in a room makes it feel nice in here and makes me smile when I see them. Right now our dining room smells like lilies and that makes my day.

So the thoughts I would share with a friend about to make the transition to staying at home would be that yes you do have to cut back on spending, you no longer get daily lattes but that’s not only due to price but also the fact that you are home and to pack the kids up just to get a coffee isn’t worth it. You will do endless loads of laundry and dishes, chores that you would have split with your husband before are all now yours. You won’t miss a moment with the kids, you will get to experience everything with them and that is so special. What I’m learning is that if it is only about function you’ll start to go crazy. There are things about work that spoil you each day that you don’t realize until you’ve left, not to mention interaction with adults. So while you do need to cut back on most things make sure you do a few little things for yourself. Make the house feel nice you’re going to be spending a lot of time there. But it's worth it.

Something Old and Something New

Jamie periodically has to travel for work, normally it is only for a night or two but due to bad timing and a conference in Seattle Jamie will be gone for 2 weeks, including 2 weekends. So the weekend before he left we wanted Saturday to be a fun family outing day and then on Sunday Momma needed alone time and Daddy had the joy of all 3 kids on his own.

On Saturday we decided to go to Tintern Abby in Wales for the day. We started out in the morning and as we got farther west the fog started to burn off and the sun came out. By the time we got to Wales it was gorgeous out, the sun was bright and it was actually warm. Jamie and I really like the drive out to Wales we’ve done it twice so far. It is only 90 minutes away and you drive through the English countryside, which is pretty, and then cross over a big bridge as you enter Wales, Kellen likes the bridge part, as soon as you cross over you notice there are more hills or small mountains. It feels a bit more like home since England is so flat. It was only 11:30 or so when we got there but with the kids we thought it would be easier to eat before actually going into the Abby so that we could take our time and they could play. That way I could also feed Ella and wouldn’t be stuck nursing in the parking lot. We drove through the little village and didn’t see much other than a touristy café so we decided to keep driving. The next village was really small but there was a pub so we figured that would be our best bet, I jumped out of the car and they didn’t open until 12:00 so we were out of luck. We had resigned ourselves to the fact that we were going to be having lunch in a crowded overprices café when I spotted a sign on the road for the Kingstone Brewery. This is out in the country and surrounded by little villages so we were surprised to see the sign and doubtful that it would work out but figured it was worth turning to see what we could find.

We drove up a dirt road that was essentially all huge potholes and pulled up to a shack like building that contained the brewing equipment and then a questionable sign that said lunch and shop. I figured it was at least worth jumping out to see what it was all about so I got down before we unloaded the family.  I walked up and the first thing I noticed was that it was just a Mom, probably about my age maybe a few years older, and she had kids running around and a baby in her arms. She was chatting with a friend in the kitchen and said I was welcome to go into the main store. When I walked in I couldn’t believe it. Inside the store was awesome, she had a selection of local cheeses, meats, beers, a beautiful display of veggies, it was a real life version of whole foods. The menu was only about 4 items and I asked if they were serving lunch yet since it was empty. She thought for a minute and said, “Sure, my bread just came out of the oven so I can start now”. That did it for me, fresh baked bread and good cheese, what more do we need?

We piled out of the car and the weather was so nice we sat at a picnic table outside. Immediately the kids were playing and running around, she had a whole group of kids of her own so it was totally stress free to know ours weren’t bothering anyone. Jamie and I were laughing that Kellen picked up a stick and Jamie started telling him to be careful and we look over and her son had a full branch he was swinging around. We just ordered the ploughman’s lunch, you see a version of this on most pub menus, it’s usually a cheese, bread and meat platter. She mentioned that she’s experimenting with meat pies and did we mind trying a few of those, which of course we were happy to do. Then the kids got a homemade pizza. We figured we couldn’t go wrong by ordering some basics.  We ended up getting a table full of fresh bread, a great salad with avocado, local cheeses, spreads and (sort of) cold beer. The food was delicious, the beer was good, the sun was out and the kids were happy running around. It was one of those moments where you sit back and think, wow we are really lucky.

After our amazing meal we went down to Tintern Abby and it was so much fun. The site is really well preserved so it was a lot of fun to walk around and really be able to see how the building was used as far back as the 12^th century. Historic sites like these are getting to be family favourites because they are interesting and educational for Patrick while also being outside and easy to tour places for Kellen.

Knowing Jamie was going to be gone the 2^nd goal for the weekend was for me to get some alone time. If I’m not careful I can find myself going quite a while without time to myself and I start to get a little nutty. Sunday morning we had breakfast together and then I jumped on a train and went into London for the afternoon. I can’t image trying to commute in everyday but for a day excursion on the weekend I enjoy taking the train. It is only 30 to 45 minutes depending on the train you catch so it’s nice to sit and read both there and back. I got off and took the tube to the Southwark station and walked to the Tate Modern. It was really nice to be able to jump on and off the tube without worrying about strollers or diaper bags.

I spent a few hours viewing the galleries there were some really interesting exhibits. There were also a few that I just didn’t get but I freely admit I am not well versed in modern art. There was a series on New Documentary Forms that was really interesting, in particular a series on American Power and a series on Lebanon. The highlight for me was a series of work by John Hartfield they were photomontages for AIZ (Arbeiter-Illustrierte Zeitung, Workers’ Illustrated Magazine) criticizing the Nazi regime. Unfortunately the images aren’t online but they were amazing and to think they were done in Germany during such a dangerous time makes them all the more interesting.

We haven’t taken the kids to any museums yet because we assume young kids will disturb others. I was amazed at how vibrant the museum was. There were families with young children, there was an area for the under 5’s to play. The museum was far from quite, people were talking and laughing, kids were being kids, and no one seemed to mind. The lack of pretension was refreshing.  I actually got to sit and have a long lunch out before catching the train back.

All in all it was a great weekend all around. It was also the perfect example of what I love about where we live. In one weekend we were able to drive through the countryside and tour a site that dates back to 1131 and the next day you are in the middle of London viewing modern art.