What are the real costs of relocating? Jamie and I have been
asking ourselves that question a lot lately. Before moving we really worried
about the emotional cost of relocating, leaving family, etc. In truth there are
times when it is really tough but with Skype and phone calls I feel totally
connected. Every once in a while I’ll see pictures of the little cousins
together and wish that Kellen and Ella could have that same relationship with
them but I know that it won’t be too many more years before they do get to have
that. I’m lucky that my parents have visited multiple times and while I wish we
didn’t have to make the trip we did in August it did give us a chance to spend
time with extended family.
The financial cost is harder to gauge. The biggest financial
change in our situation was when I quit my job in order to relocate. That is
obviously a big hit financially but when I consider that Ella is 17 months old
now and I’ve been able to be home with her the whole time I don’t think I would
count that as a loss. The chance to enrol Kellen in all of his sports classes
or the fact that I get the full run down each day from Patrick as soon as he
walks through the door are invaluable. One of the moms I have gotten to know
just went back to work 3 days a week and she said that while they were fine
with her staying home she wanted to be able to get a haircut without feeling
guilty. I thought that was a perfect way to describe it, a second income is the
ability to do all the extras without as much budgeting.
Until you have gone through a relocation, or more specifically
an international relocation, it’s hard to appreciate the cost of that
transition. We were lucky to have a generous relocation package but I don’t
think we fully understood the real cost of having to essentially get rid of
anything electrical and replace it here. Having owned for a long time I didn’t
really think about deposits on rental houses and things like that. There was
the selling of cars and then purchasing them all over again here, etc. Through the process I have gained a better
understanding of what I need. Turns out you don’t need a kitchen aid mixer and a full size Cuisinart, a hand mixer
works just fine or you can even stir things yourself. It also turns out that I
do need a slow cooker so I’m not
totally appliance free.
Then there is the cost of living aspect of it all. Having
always lived in Seattle I had never moved to a higher/lower cost of living
area. We had read and been warned that the UK was a high cost of living. There
are a few basics that shock me when I stop to really think about it. The cost
of gas, right now gas is about £1.40 per litre; there are 3.78 litres per
gallon so the cost per gallon is £5.29. That’s $7.90 per gallon of gas! Based
on a quick search right now gas in Seattle is around $3.15 per gallon. The home
energy prices are also about double here. The good thing is that most vehicles
are much more fuel efficient because that’s what the market demands. As far as food goes it’s harder to compare but
I think food costs are about the same. Pork is a lot cheaper and beef is much
more expensive. Lamb is much more readily available and seafood seems about the
same. One nice thing is products that would be ‘artisanal’ in a US grocery
store are basic and affordable here so we always have good cheese and cured
meats. One day I tried to give Kellen a turkey sandwich and he was horrified
and explained that meat doesn’t look like that it should be red and round.
There were also some conscious decisions we made before
coming out here. Travel is a lot cheaper and we feel like we don’t know how
long we will have access to all these amazing places so it’s a priority to try
and do and see as much as possible. I was complaining to my Dad one day and he
was teasing me that all we do is go on vacation. Our attitude is that we better
be going on vacations or there is no point in being here. If we aren’t going to
see anything then we should be home in Seattle with our family. These are the intangibles
that make it hard to gauge the cost of relocating. How much is it worth to see
an Italian Nona in Rome walking Ella around the back kitchen, or Kellen sipping
apple tea in Istanbul, hearing Patrick talk about his school trip and trying to
remember if that day was in Germany or France? That’s why we did it and I think
we would both agree that it was the right choice for us as a family.
As Jamie is passing the year and half mark in his current
role people are starting to have career conversations with him and
opportunities are being mentioned here in the UK, but also in Singapore, Sidney
and Seattle. Now this is all theoretical and there are no specific jobs and it seems
that more often than not there are a lot of theoretical conversations before a
real job is actually available so for the time being we don’t have to make any
decisions. But having just gone through a big relocation we are asking ourselves
what the real cost is of doing it all over again. I think going into it again
we would have a much better idea of what to ask for in a package and we also
understand that while all of the moving expenses are paid for there is a lot
more involved as you get settled into a new place. I’m torn between the feeling
that we are already out in the field so might as well maximize this time, see
different places, and get different experiences before we go back home and
settle again. The other side is that we are settled here and the thought of
selling and rebuying half our things and then figuring out a new location feels
daunting.
So back to the cost, it’s not cheap to do this; we are not
being responsible and saving large sums of money to put towards retirement. I
think it’s worth it when I consider the time I’m getting with the kids, the
travel and the experiences they are getting. I sometimes wish we had a second
income and more disposable money. Other days I’m so glad we aren’t living the
same lifestyle we were before. Is it worth it? For us this move was worth it.
Do I want to spend 10 years buying and selling the same things over and over
again? No. Could we do it at least once more? Yes, probably, maybe…
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